Open Post: Hosted By A Sober Wino

October 5, 2010 / Posted by:

The sheen in my ballet slipper Amy Wino performed a secret show at Hawley Arms in Camden last night, and I’m not a doctor or a Lohan but I think she did it completely sober.

Dear dumb bitch who wrote me an e-mail saying that they doubt I can go one day without typing “fuck” since my brain is a dumpster for curse words, I was with you for a second until Wino proved to me that the impossible can be achieved. I take your “fuck” and raise you a “fudge“! Miracles can happen.

The pap who took these pictures said that Wino looked “tired and miserable” as she made her way out of the bar last night, but I’m going to disagree. We’re so used to seeing Wino’s signature CRANKEDTHEFUCKOUTFACE that we forgot what her sober face looks like and this is it.

And Wino even declared her soberness (well, sober from the bad shit anyways) to Glamour Magazine (via The Sun): “I’m much healthier now. I used to use drugs and I haven’t used drugs in almost three years. It’s not a hard thing.I literally woke up one day and was like, ‘I don’t want to do this anymore’.

That plummeting noise is the sound of a thousand drug dealers hitting the ground and crawling to the unemployment office in tears.

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