Wonky Almost Brutally Murdered A Pap!

September 30, 2010 / Posted by:

Dust a cell off in death row and fire up the electric chair, because Parasite Hilton took part in a vicious pap smear in L.A. last night!!!!!! PAP KILLER! Okay, okay, Wonks didn’t exactly “partake” in this accident and she didn’t try to brutally murder a paparazzo, but I really needed that headline this morning so give me that.

Wonk’s boyfriend Cy Waits was trying to drive away from Boa in West Hollywood last night, but he had some trouble because of the mob of paps that surrounded the car. Cy gave the international noise for MOVETHEFUCKOUTTATHEWAY at those hos to scatter, but they didn’t. He eventually hit the gas, which caused him to hit Chunk from Goonies a lady pap.

When one of my friends got her foot ran over by a taxi, she said that her biggest regret was that she didn’t fall to the ground in a cloud of OW OW OW OWs and beg somebody to get her a priest to read her last rites. That would’ve looked better for her case. Well, the lady pap isn’t going to have that regret, because she made it loud and clear that she got hurt. Cy and Wonks stayed in the car for a quick minute before driving away.

Radar says that the pap called the police shortly after the accident. Cy Waits came back to Boa so the police could give him a DUI test. Cy was given a citation and will have to show up to court next month.

On a positive note, this Wonky pap smear didn’t result in a team of doctors and nurses running from the room in terror and the CDC having to quarantine an entire hospital. It was not a scene out of The Host, so that’s good.

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