Mad Mel Dropped The Baby

Sort of. Kind of. OctoSana and Mel Gibson are still slapping each other in the pussies in their neverending custody battle for their little baby girl Lucia. In her ongoing campaign to paint (not even one coat is needed) Mad Mel as a shit dad who shouldn’t even be left take care of a broken Tamagotchi, OctoSana testified in front of the lawyers that he once “dropped their baby while smoking a cigarette outside.” Brit Brit taught him well.

Radar reports that OctoSana said in her deposition that she left Lucia (who was 2-months old at the time) with Mad Mel while she went off to do some crap upstairs. When she came downstairs, Mel told her that he did something stupid. Mel wasn’t talking about What Women Want, he was talking about leaving Lucia on a table without supervision. Mel eventually told OctoSana that before he went out to smoke a cig, he put Lucia on a cushion on top of a table. Needless to say, that wasn’t a good idea, because she slide off that shit and busted her ass.

OctoSana said, “I asked him how it happened, and what had happened and how he found her, and he explained everything to me. Showed where she fell from and I analyzed her and looked at her eyes. I looked at her bruises – not bruises but the bump on her front and the bump on her back, back of the head and the front of the head and analyzed that – but she looked focused. After initial shock of crying and, of course, I consoled her and she stopped crying eventually.”

OctoSana said she had to take Lucia to a baby chiropractor for treatment, “Her head was very conehead like and he helped with that.”

What in the sweet fuck is wrong with Mel? Everybody knows that if you’re going to put a baby on a table, you put the cushions AROUND them in case they go tumbling down while you’re outside snorting lines or jacking off into the rose garden. Or whatever. If there’s not enough cushions around for you to do that, just put the baby in the dryer (DON’T TURN IT ON) or throw her into a dog carrier bag and bring her with you. I swear. Do I have to teach a parenting class to these fuckheads?

But to play devil’s advocate, if you were a 2-month old baby and Mel was taking care of you, wouldn’t you throw yourself off the table so you could crawl to the nearest exit? Yeah, you would. Mel can use that defense in court.