George Lopez and his wife of 17 years are no more. TMZ, the first stop for all celebrity divorce documents, says that George and Ann haven’t been sharing the same bed for a while and they’ve secretly been working on a settlement. They have a 15-year-old daughter, so they hope to keep things clean.
What’s there to discuss exactly? Ann just has to raise one of her perfectly painted brows (her originals brows were lost in her 5th chemical face peel) and demand the chonies off of George’s nalgas AND MORE. When George starts to throw a “but” at her, all she has to say it, “But I gave yo a kidney, motherfucker!” If that still doesn’t make George hand over the keys to his EVERYTHING, Ann can reload her gun and shoot, “And my kidney helped you fuck a leased whore! Allegedly.”
All other arguments are invalid. Ann wins.