Someone at UsWeekly must be smoking that shake and bake meth while writing about The Chosen Ones with Natalie’s “Dearest Mommie” episode of Facts of Life playing in the background, because this is the epitome (or “ep-eh-toem” if your name is Shia LaBeouf) of RANDOM. UsWeekly says that contrary to what the Bible says, Mary Mother is not Vivienne and Knox’s godmother. MINDY COHN IS!
When I really think about it (Why am I thinking about this?), this makes sense. St. Angie didn’t ask Blair Warner, because: a) She’s not one of Blair’s “cyber prayer warriors” and b) She knows she can never compete with Blair’s natural beauty and pedigree. Brad didn’t ask Jo, because he knows very well that she could munch the holy spirit out of St. Angie and he doesn’t want the competition. Tootie and Mrs. Garrett are serious members of Team Aniston, so they would never work. So the obvious choice was Natalie Green! And a source tells Us, “Mindy is good friends with them.”
And I wonder if Brangelina kept the same theme for their other kids. Please tell me Maddox’s godfather is Monroe Ficus from Too Close For Comfort.