John Travolta’s Scientolohole eats a dick for breakfast, a dick for lunch, a dick for an afternoon snack, a dick for dinner and brushes with a dick before gargling a dick. This is what author Robert Randolph claims. Robert is the one who gave The National Enquirer a few pieces from his book, which claims that John Travolta is the reigning peen gobbling king of the underground gay sauna world in L.A.
Robert is talking to The Enquirer (via Celebitchy) again, and this time he’s diagnosing John Travolta with a chronic addiction to dick. Adicktion if you will.
Robert says that ever since The Enquirer ran the story about John’s love for gay steam room sex, he’s gotten six e-mails from dudes who have admitted to eating Vincent Vega’s royale with cheese. Robert expects to get at least 50 more e-mails. Yeah, he’s a regular Miss Cleo too. Robert told The Enquirer, “I have no doubt that John Travolta is a sex addict. I’ve heard from many men who have either had gay sex with John or saw him having gay sex in health spas, steam rooms, locker rooms, you name it. I’ve gotten so many emails that I’m writing a second book titles ‘Tracking Travolta’ and I’ve got plenty of material.”
Let’s say Robert and these six dudes are telling the truth. Let’s also say that Robert’s estimate is a low ball figure and John’s real number is around 150. If John started rolling on sauna wang when he got married to Kelly Preston, that means he’s been at it for 19 years. That averages to around 8 different dicks a year. If 8 dicks a year makes a sex addict, then I’ll see most of you at the SAA meeting down in the church basement next week. You bring the dicks, I mean donuts, I mean dicks.