Your bubble has been popped, because Lindsay Lohan will come skipping out of her jail room at Lynwood tonight. White Oprah is chopping up the “welcome home” lines as I type this. The court also better give White Oprah and Blohan a few extra lines for wasting their precious time!
TMZ says that LiLo’s lawyer appealed Judge’s Fox decision to send her ass to jail for 30 days without bail for violating her probation by failing two drug tests. Judge Patricia Schnegg, the Assistant Supervising Judge, shit on Judge’s Fox decision and immediately set LiLo’s bail at $300,000. Apparently, California law states that defendants in misdemeanor cases have the right to bail. Yeah, I don’t know why the court is following something called rules when LiLo’s crack ass doesn’t.
Judge Patricia is also putting another SCRAM anklet on LiLo and ordered her to stay away from bars and clubs.
Another SCRAM anklet? Because it worked so well the first time. Every SCRAM anklet in L.A. County is probably doing “mi mi mi miiiiii” vocal exercises in case it gets slapped around that mess’ ankle. They knew that if you’re going to be LiLo’s SCRAM anklet, you’re going to do a lot of screaming.
And well, at least LiLo got another beautiful mug shot out of this. White Oprah’s mantle will now look completely full thanks to LiLo’s fourth mug shot. Brings a 100 proof tear to White Oprah’s eye.