Janet Charlton has already said that Jake Gyllenhaal will only put his mouth on a tube if it’s made of glass (or plastic) and ejaculates weed smoke. And now Maroon 5’s Adam Levine is joining the “JAKEY LOVES POON” choir. Adam tells Out Magazine (via HuffPo) that he’s sick of simple ass bitches (GUILTY!) saying that Jakey loves to fill his six-pack gutters with man chowder. Adam put it like this:
“Will everyone stop thinking that dude is gay? Seriously guys. How immature is it of the media to perceive this guy — it has to be because of Brokeback, right? I’ve known this dude forever. He’s one of my oldest friends, and it’s very weird that they have this — it’s very immature and infantile the way they treat his whole situation. If him hanging out with his bros means he’s gay, it’s like further perpetuating that weird homophobia that exists in our culture, which is just stupid. So, yeah, he’s my buddy. I fuckin’ love the guy”
Duly noted, the sequel! Everyone got that, again? Jakey is straighter than a southern baptist pastor! Err, bad example. Okay, let me try this again… Jakey is straighter than a conservative member of New Zealand’s parliament! Okay, another shit example. Basically, what I’m getting at is that Ted Casablanca has some explaining to do!
P.S. – Jakey is still Toothy Tile to me, now and forever.