Tom Brady is 33-years-old, which is old enough to drive a car, buy a bottle of vodka, and in some states rent pussy by the hour. But apparently, the age of 33 is still not old enough for Tom to take a pair of scissors to his luscious mop without asking for permission first.
When Tom first started growing his hair out, it looked like something you might spot across the room at a Lesbian Who Look Like Justin Bieber Bar Party. But now Tom’s hair sort of makes him look like he’s Single White Female-ing Hayden from Big Brother. It’s like Peter Pan Dude before a blowout.
During an interview with a Boston radio station (via USA Today), Tom said that everyone needs to direct their complaints to Gisele Bundchen:
Host: “Is there anything I can do to make you cut your hair?”
Brady: “Ah, you’ll have to speak to my wife about that.”
We did, and she said you can cut half an inch as soon as you finish your boiled brussels sprouts and scrub the skid marks from your Underoos.
Personally, I don’t hear the sound of Gisele’s clit whipping Tom in the nalgas. But I do hear the sound of her fapping to the LWLLJB Tumblr. We know your secret now, Gis!