Aretha Franklin Is Back On Top

September 23, 2010 / Posted by:

The black clouds above Aretha Franklin are slowly starting to part and the sun is now shining down on her bosoms of life! This is good news for every living thing on this planet, because Aretha’s photosynthetitties give us all oxygen. Yes, you must have been hungover the day your 3rd grade teacher taught that lesson in school.

Grey skies are clearing up again, because Aretha’s son has been released from the hospital after getting the beat down at a gas station in Detroit the other night. AND that isn’t the only good news. Rich at Four Four has shared Aretha’s deep fried greatness with everybody by putting together her greatest moments from a PBS special that aired recently.

The “voolay poo poo shay ah veck moi seck swah” bit she does at the beginning made me feel like I just ate a croque monsieur from the ultra authentic French restaurant Mimi’s Cafe. I had to unbutton the top button on my cord shorts (do my laundry and then you can judge) to watch Aretha tell stories from her past while wearing a muumuu from Pier 1’s Tahitian goddess collection. Unfortunately, I don’t think a small portion of the proceeds donated go to Aretha’s dreadful wig situation.

And I will give Aretha a Philly cheesesteak anytime she asks for one (she asks for one a lot, by the way).

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