Well, Since You Put It That Way

September 21, 2010 / Posted by:

Right click + save + open quaidsareNUTS.jpg + print + gold frame from Big Lots = Your new fireplace artwork! And you’re not the only one who wants the fire from your Duraflame log to illuminate this work of art that belongs in the Modern Museum of CRAZY. Randy and Evi Quaid had this picture over the fireplace when the police came knocking on the door this past Saturday to arrest them for allegedly squatting.

And about that, Randy tells TMZ that the man who claims to own the Santa Barbara, CA house they were allegedly squatting is in lying. Randy says that they still own the home. Randy believes they are the victims of a giant conspiracy!!! Why do I have to put on a tin foil visor and stick a GPS jammer up my ass every time I read a statement from Randy Quaid? It’s a good thing that I like it.

Randy and his partner in lunacy Evi think that “someone” illegally transferred the deed to their house by forging the name of some dead woman named Ronda Quaid on some legal document back in 1992. There’s a lot of “somes” in this. Randy has proof of the scheme and plans to show it in a court of law!!!!

Randy and Evi say that they have every right to live in the house. They haven’t been there in years and were only there this weekend to clean it up and to hang that portrait of two crazies over the fireplace.

So just to recap, Randy and Evi were the innocent victims of a house snatching scheme back in the early 90s and yet they are just bringing it up now. And they claim that they were cleaning the house this weekend even though a contractor says they caused $5,000 worth of damage to the place. Makes sense, Cousin Eddie, makes sense.

But you know what doesn’t make sense? The fact that A&E hasn’t left a trail of peppermints (crazies LOVE peppermints) from Randy’s cave to their offices. A reality show about the Quaids would be like Hoarders, Intervention, Obsessed, The First 48 and certain episodes of Billy the Exterminator rolled up into one and coated with bat shit. All that’s missing is a ghost who has a voice like Steven Seagal, but I’m sure Cousin Eddie can make that happen.

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