The Witness Protection Program’s Newest Member

It’s really hard out there for 16-year-olds these days. Not only do they have to worry about their mothers walking in on them kissing the boy next door in the garage (It was the only place! The door to my room was broken, okay!), but now they have to worry about fans taking pictures of them kissing on a girl in the back of a Honda!

TMZ posted these grainy and blurry pictures of The Lesbeaver kissing 16-year-old Jasmine Villegas, who is his opening act on tour. To me, it looks more like he’s getting really close to Jasmine to pop a pimple on her chin. That’s better than making out to some 16-year-olds. Popping pimples is practically first base. Who knows, but I do that Jasmine Villegas is in all kinds of danger now. The Bieliebers have already broken out of their playpens, turned their rattles into shanks and are crawling for BLOOD!

Here’s Jasmine’s video for your new favorite song “Kiss Me Through The Phone”.

Poor Jasmine. Such talent. Now she’ll have to change her name, get a new face, move to a different town and enter the Witness Protection Program. Jasmine and Justin could’ve been the world’s newest IT lesbian couple. Sad. I bet she wishes she would’ve kissed The Lesbeaver through the phone instead.