This is my ten millionth Blohan post of the new week, so instead of posting yet another picture of her baby Pete Burns lips, here’s a ginger bunny with a sideways mohawk and a kitten instead! Because stories about delusional cokeheads are easier to digest if you’re staring an adorable ginge bunny and kitten. Right? Right.
So…yesterday I wrote some post about how Lindsay Lohan is on the edge of BROKE and White Oprah is about to put Ali Lohan on the white slave market. Well, Ali Lohan can slip that “Or Best Offer” sign off her chest, because LiLo’s got some cash coming her way! Pop the 8-ball and tell Nana Lohan to get out the “good” coke spoons!
Remember that ridiculous E*Trade lawsuit? The one where LiLo sued their asses for $100 million for making fun of her mess of a life by featuring a trampy milkaholic baby named “Lindsay” in one of their commercials. The con actually worked, because TMZ reports that LiLo withdrew her lawsuit since E*Trade agreed to settle out of court. She didn’t get $100 million, but she’s “very happy” about the settlement amount.
White Oprah also told TMZ, “The family is pleased that the case has been settled.”
LiLo and White Oprah are starring in the real life version of The Grifters! Even if E*Trade only bought LiLo off with an empty carton of Reds, a pack of powdered milk and an expired Carvel VIP card, they still paid too much! Bitches got GOT. I really can’t wait for their next con. Don’t be surprised if you get an e-mail from White Oprah promising to make you RICHER THAN RICH if you simply send $1 to the names below.
P.S. – I almost fell for that chain letter scheme back in the day. Okay, I did fall for it and I’m still waiting for my mailbox to fill with dollar bills. Well, you have to believe!