George Meets The Parents

September 20, 2010 / Posted by:

Score 1 for Elisabetta Canalis. And score 0 for her “jeliz fat ugly haterz“. Elisabetta Canalis tore George Clooney away from his dildo chair (don’t worry, it will heal) to take him over to her home island of Sardinia to meet her parents Cesare and Bruna.

In between sightseeing and dinner with Elisabetta’s parents, George signed autographs and hugged and kissed all the locals. At one point, People says George posed for a picture with someone’s baby when a trick in the crowd (who Elisabetta probably paid) screamed in Italian “Ora tocca a te! [It’s your turn now!]” A witness said, “Clooney obviously didn’t understand, but everyone turned to look at Elisabetta. She simply smiled.”

Elisabetta wasn’t smiling because the sight of George Clooney with a baby made her womb coo. No, bitch smiled because she pictured the baby as a giant bag of money. You would smile too.

Speaking of meeting the parents, let’s all share our own stories. My ass doesn’t have a lot of “meet the parents stories” to tell since most of the bitches I date live by the “Don’t Bring a Dumb Slut Home to Mom” rule. But when I was 19, my boyfriend at the time really wanted me to meet his mom. When we first started dating, he told me that his mom hated his gayness and therefore automatically hated all of his boyfriends. That’s always fun. I only agreed to go, because we were meeting her at a chocolate shop she worked at. And well, I figured being called a “sinning fudge packer” while nibbling on a piece fudge would be a good memory to stick in the scrap book in my head.

So when we finally got there, the second thing she said to me after “Hello, how are you?” was, “You got some of that Oriental in you? My cousin married one of those. They divorced now.” But the worst part was that the only free chocolate I got was a white chocolate truffle with cherries. It was fucking disgusting! I mean, I could’ve gotten better free chocolate at See’s and they wouldn’t have called me an Oriental to my face!

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