Behold, The Great Beauty Has Returned!

September 20, 2010 / Posted by:

The last time I caught up with the graceful silicone orchid that is Pete Burns, he was on his death bed and about to float down the eternal stream to heaven on his inner tube lips. Well, (NSFL) drop a log on the catwalk, because Pete Burns is back in a BIG way! Pete has got a new song, new lips (doctors had to amputate the old ones) and new face piercings! Although, I don’t know if those are piercings or steel rods keeping the air from seeping out of Pete’s face. Whatever you do, don’t pull them out or he might deflate like a party balloon and all the children will start crying. I mean, they’ll cry louder, because I’m sure they are already crying.

Pete and his on-and-off-again partner Michael Simpson took London Fashion Week by storm this afternoon at the Pam Hogg and Vivienne Westwood shows. The models should’ve quit their jobs and come out to watch Pete, because he’s the real beauty show.

Cheeks so erect that they give Phoebe Price’s chicken cutlets an inferiority complex… Exquisite eyebrows that look like the skipping trail to Venus… Lips so luscious and juicy that you just want to stick them between two English muffins and nibble…

When Pete Burns blows you an air kiss, you better take the rest of the day off, because it takes at least 10 minutes for that kiss to clear the gorgeous baboon anus on his face. Let’s all bow down!

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121 responses to “Behold, The Great Beauty Has Returned!”

  1. ISprainedMyUvula says:

    Can’t. Can’t. Won’t. Can’t. Won’t. Won’t. Can’t.

    **************************************

    I ALMOST threw up my grilled cheese sandwich but with Jesus in your life, you can overcome anything. – boobxqueen on Octomom’s Star cover

  2. Erika_Leigh says:

    does that make u gay or straight if u date a dude who looks like a woman?

  3. parkerj says:

    Kim Kardashian, take a good look: this is your face in 10 years (not the elongated ball sacks part).

  4. from athens says:

    he will be spinning around in my nightmares tonight

  5. Jill-The-Ripper says:

    I was just thinking about old Pete today for some reason.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?annotation_id=annotation_685028&feature=iv&v=_iCFLK0K1TY

  6. jack-n-the-hat says:

    OK WOW. What the FUCK(!) am I looking at here??!!!

    And I clicked the NSFL link… SO uncool.

    _____________________________________________
    “poor jacko, trying to struggle thru this world with one eye and the womenz just keep fucking his shit UP!” snowpiece 11/25/09

    “Your appalling choice in women is well-known to us dlisters.” Momus

  7. Whamo says:

    LMFAO!!! Really, all you can do is laugh once someone has gone so far off the deep end! I mean really what are you going to do feel sorry for him? I’m sure he doesn’t want that so just point with your mouth open and yell WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!…you know you want to.

  8. ruby_lucite_slippers says:

    Superjealous of all the swag they get at these events. Tons of freebie products. You can see in thumbnail 2 they’re giving away samples of the new Gwyneth fragrance

  9. LisaRose says:

    Pete Burns was my dream man back in 1984!! When he looks at himself back in the 80’s what must he think? IS he happy looking as he does today? I knew he never wanted to age but this is worse than any wrinkles could ever be!

    ________________
    I Love You More
    ________________

  10. jazzfish_77 says:

    JO MATERIAL!!!!!!!!!

  11. iHeartHaters says:

    That ain’t no cigar on that stage!

    ~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3Q1nOzgR0

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t56s4dZ1_rs

  12. Am says:

    I thought it was Cher.

  13. snowpiece says:

    precious lotus blossom!

    ****************************
    ►I’m a free bitch, baby◄
    “Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!” MK

  14. caprica six says:

    jeebus FRAK! Someone set off 10kilos of TNT on it STAT PLEASE!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    “Skeptical scrutiny is the means, in both science and religion, by which deep insights can be winnowed from deep nonsense. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.” – Carl Sagan

  15. snowpiece says:

    I guess maybe having someone contantly sucking them would stttrrrrreeeeaaaaaatttccccchhhh them out like that!

    ****************************
    ►I’m a free bitch, baby◄
    “Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!” MK

  16. jazzfish_77 says:

    She must model her lips after Tommy Girl’s asshole.

  17. snowpiece says:

    damn he’s like 50 years old!

    ****************************
    ►I’m a free bitch, baby◄
    “Give me a red velvet with a heaping sprinkling of FUCK on top!” MK

  18. Happy Hour says:

    I sooo see Megan Fox. this will be here if she continues with the cosmetic surgery fuckery

  19. Sandbitch says:

    Mouth like a colostomy stoma.

  20. Team Valtrex says:

    Was it his life’s ambition to have a beanbag chair for a head?

    ***********************************************
    “I am the Devil, and I’m here to do the Devil’s work”

  21. suckandfuck says:

    STUNNING TEMPTRESS!!

    ————————————————-
    Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 – 5:47pm.
    suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

  22. Team Valtrex says:

    He looks like Marilyn Manson having an allergic reaction.

    ***********************************************
    “I am the Devil, and I’m here to do the Devil’s work”

  23. suckandfuck says:

    “When Pete Burns blows you an air kiss, you better take the rest of the day off,”

    FUCKING LOL!!!!

    ————————————————-
    Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 – 5:47pm.
    suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

  24. ruby_lucite_slippers says:

    Submitted by Happy Hour on Mon, 09/20/2010 – 1:56pm.
    I sooo see Megan Fox. this will be here if she continues with the cosmetic surgery fuckery

    —-
    I’ve got this russian doll image in my head where Pete Burns opens up to reveal Cher, who opens up to reveal Octomom, who opens up to reveal Octosanta, who opens up to reveal Angelina, who opens up to reveal a teeny tiny Megan Fox…

  25. Sandbitch says:

    Pete’s face is coordinated with his bitch’s boots. WTF is with the spray can FISH in thumb #2?

  26. moomarse says:

    Damn… I thought this was Cher…

    And is boytoy Michael wearing a shirt of the before Pete??? Sorry, but it looks MUCH better than now!!! jheeezzz….
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    It sounds like I’ll need to be drunk, stoned and suffering from a minor concussion to deal with this fuckery. MK – November 2008

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