Behold, The Great Beauty Has Returned!

September 20, 2010 / Posted by:

The last time I caught up with the graceful silicone orchid that is Pete Burns, he was on his death bed and about to float down the eternal stream to heaven on his inner tube lips. Well, (NSFL) drop a log on the catwalk, because Pete Burns is back in a BIG way! Pete has got a new song, new lips (doctors had to amputate the old ones) and new face piercings! Although, I don’t know if those are piercings or steel rods keeping the air from seeping out of Pete’s face. Whatever you do, don’t pull them out or he might deflate like a party balloon and all the children will start crying. I mean, they’ll cry louder, because I’m sure they are already crying.

Pete and his on-and-off-again partner Michael Simpson took London Fashion Week by storm this afternoon at the Pam Hogg and Vivienne Westwood shows. The models should’ve quit their jobs and come out to watch Pete, because he’s the real beauty show.

Cheeks so erect that they give Phoebe Price’s chicken cutlets an inferiority complex… Exquisite eyebrows that look like the skipping trail to Venus… Lips so luscious and juicy that you just want to stick them between two English muffins and nibble…

When Pete Burns blows you an air kiss, you better take the rest of the day off, because it takes at least 10 minutes for that kiss to clear the gorgeous baboon anus on his face. Let’s all bow down!

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