Juicy Delicious Goes To Jail

Hopefully for him, Juicy Delicious’ cell husband also believes in “happy life, happy wife” or it’s going to be a loooong ten days for his ass (literally). Radar reports that Teresa Giudice of The Real Housewives of New Jersey won’t have her husband around to “Oooh Oooh Aaah Aaah” on her in the bedroom for 10 full days, because he’s going off to jail! Will somebody give Teresa a King Louie stuffed animal to hump on when she goes into heat so she won’t start chewing on tractors and throwing around four wheelers again.

This past Wednesday, a judge in New Jersey sentenced Juicy Joe to jail for driving with a suspended license. Juicy was also fined $1,000 and his license has been put on pause for another year. Juicy will have to put on a fat toddler-sized jail jumper to start serving his sentence next week.

Back in March, Juicy’s license was suspended and he was sentenced to 30 days of community service for driving while drunk in January. Juicy’s stupid ass ran into a telephone pole near a friend’s house. Juicy’s story is that while he waited for the cops to show up, he went into his friend’s house to have a few shots of the sweet nectar. Personally, I think Juicy went inside to hide the bloody bodies, severed horse head and suit case full of cash that was in the trunk of his car.

Prostitution Whore-ah would get into her Range Rover to drive over to Teresa’s Casa de Foreclosure to cackle at their sadness, but Life & Style says her SUV was repossessed today! How in the hell is Danielle supposed to stalk her enemies now? Rolling up in her daughter’s old Lil’ Princess Big Wheel isn’t exactly the epitome of inconspicuousness.