Hot Slut Of The Day!
Professor Mark Haub of Kansas State University, nutrition expert and inventor of the greatest diet ever created!
Kirstie Alley no longer has to hide the casualties (aka the empty wrappers) from her 3am Ho Ho and Twinkie massacre! She can proudly bite into that delicious golden peen cake out in the open as though it was a piece of steamed broccoli, because Professor Mark Haub is proving that the Twinkie Diet actually works! Sorry, L. Ronnie, but Kirstie has a new messiah! As do I!
During Mark’s month-long experiment, he has lost 13 pounds and his bad cholesterol levels have dropped. Mark starts each day with a snack cake, a bowl of sugary cereal and coffee. Mark usually has the same thing for lunch. For afternoon snack time, he has a Twinkie, a hot dog or a bag of chips. At dinner time, Mark has a plate of vegetables with a glass of milk. He finishes his day the same way he starts it, with another TWINKIE!
Professor Mark is consuming less calories than before, but he’s still trying to figure out if the diet is healthy or not. He says (WARNING: DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS PART. COVER YOUR EYES WITH A TWINKIE), “I think there are many ways to achieve weight loss, this might be one if it suits somebody’s lifestyle. I don’t recommend it, I don’t promote it, but it’s an examination into (the fact) there is more than one way to achieve the path to weight loss, and this is one.”
Finally, a diet I can get behind and fully endorse! Yes, my teefs will turn to rot and fall out of my head, but who needs them! Not me. Just gum that Twinkie!