Russell Brand Got Citizen’s Arrested Today

Every time I see someone wearing CROCS (this is an illegal offense) or hear someone blasting a Ke$hit song from their car, I want to throw on a bobby hat and declare a CITIZEN’S ARREST! CITIZEN’S ARREST! So I’m totally jealous of the paparazzo who straight up dropped a citizen’s arrest on Russell Brand’s ass at LAX today. This is according to TMZ who has tape of that mess.

Russell and Katy Perry were going through LAX this afternoon when a pap did something to put fire on his taint. The pap must’ve told Russell that his hair doesn’t look as silky smooth as a unicorn’s mane in person, because he conjured up the glittery powers of Glamberace and went after that fucker. Russell threw fists and whooped that trick! But the pap had the most fun when he got pull a citizen’s arrest Russell.

The cops at LAX eventually took over and officially arrested Russell. They took him into custody and booked him for battery.

Here’s EXCLUSIVE video of Russell’s arrest:

I so have to do that at least once this weekend.

UPDATE: And now with pictures!

UPDATE II: Katy Perry Tweeted that Russell Brand was defending her honor: “If you cross the line & try an put a lens up my dress, my fiancé will do his job & protect me. #standbyyourman #don’tfuckwiththeBrands.”