Open Post: Hosted By Detective La Toya

September 17, 2010 / Posted by:

Dear Paz de la Huerta, this is how you REALLY perform for the cameras. Even though most of the photographers are focused on getting pictures of some extra from One Tree Hill instead of you, you still POSE for your life in front of the two cameras that are on you. You pose as though you are on the catwalk at your graduation from Barbizon! You pose as though you’re Diana Ross in front of a million screaming fans! You pose as though you’re Gay Al Reynolds in a pair of gold sequined hot pants!

When they start to get bored, knock those hos out with the “I’m so excited to be screwing in a light bulb” pose (see above). If that doesn’t get them, give them the “I’m airing my pits out in front of an imaginary hand dryer ala Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan” pose (see thumbnail #5). And if they still aren’t on the floor, go for the kill with the “I can’t be held responsible for the casualties this pose will cause” pose (see thumbnail #8).

Leave it to Detective La Toya to give us a master class in posing at some Macy’s event in Los Angeles last night. Aubrey O’Day and Macy Gray are still speechless.

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