OctoMom Is Going On Welfare

September 17, 2010 / Posted by:

The days of OctoMom getting a stack of cash for tabloid covers and interviews with foreign TV stations are long gone. Octo wrote a book, but publishers won’t even use its pages to pick the dingles out of their ass cracks. Octo tried to get a reality show, but she’s even too trashy for TLC and that’s saying EVERYTHING. Octo tried to merchandise the Octo name, but that isn’t going to work out either.

Because of all of this, Octo’s checking account is as bruised and battered as her uterus. So what’s an Octo to do? STRETCH MARK PORN! But before she goes there, Radar says that Octo is going to go on welfare first. A source close to her says, ““Nadya has nannies and huge expenses raising 14 children. She needs a lot of money just to keep up with the basics. And now the income has dried up and she didn’t make enough in the past year and a half to live off of it. Nadya will never come out publicly and say she’s going on welfare but everyone close to her and familiar with her situation knows that it’s going to happen very, very soon. She needs the money. She has no choice at this point. And she’s been on public assistance before. There’s just no choice. She’s running out of money and those kids need to eat.”

And if that isn’t bad enough, TMZ says that Octo and her 14-strong child army is in danger of getting kicked out of their home for not paying the mortgage.

I watch House Hunters every single night before I close my eyes and dream of Mah Boo feeding me blue cotton candy on a carousel, so I know for a real fact that Octo can buy a 10-bedroom MEGA MANSION in another state for the same price of a studio apartment in Southern California. So Octo needs to throw her litter into the back of a Greyhound bus and head towards (insert the name of a state you don’t live in that has a low-cost of living). And if that crazy bitch doesn’t want to do that, then there’s only one other option: BABY YARD SALE! Maddox is already in line!

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