Did you really think that a mother and father who named their daughters Petal Blossom Rainbow, Daisy Boo Pamela and Poppy Honey Rosie would hold back the fuckery when naming their first son? Of course not! Unfortunately, Jamie Oliver and his wife Jools didn’t stick with the same theme by giving their 1-day-old son a name that sounds like a mid-priced body wash or a third-tier member of Strawberry Shortcake’s entourage. But Jamie and Jools still made the hospital administrator throw them a “….the hell are you on?” look when they wrote the name BUDDY BEAR MAURICE on the birth certificate!
Jamie and Jools must have been cartoon hippie animals in a past life, because every one of their kids’ names sounds like it fell out of a stoned Mother Goose’s mouth. Buddy Bear Maurice is no exception. That mess is the nickname of an animated teddy bear gangster who drinks bottles full of honey and bets big at the fish fights.
I hope Buddy Bear Maurice wants to be a boxer circa 1962 when he grows up, because that’s where he’s headed with a name like that!
Here’s the entire Oliver family showing off Buddy Bear Maurice (I weep for him whenever I type that) outside of the hospital in London this afternoon.