Hot Slut Of The Day!

Wendy DeSmidt-Kohloff, the goat farmer/nurse from Survivor: Nicaragua

This contains a few SPOILERS from last night’s episode so go spike the water cooler with laxatives if you don’t want to know shit. Jeff Probst’s face dimples returned last night in the 239th edition of Survivor, which pits Team Metamucil (aka the old bitches) against Team Pacifier (aka the annoying babies). Right away, my Hot Slut folder filled with every single member on the oldies tribe. It’s like a late-in-life lesbian convention over there, which could easily double as a Hot Slut convention. I have to start somewhere so why not start with Wendy Jo?

Oh, Wendy Jo. If the fringe on Wendy’s western jacket didn’t loop you into her charms, then her speech at tribal council definitely did. That speech was a wreck. It was like watching the dorkiest and the most unaware kid in high school give a speech for senior class president like she has a real chance. “And I’m a good leader….and fun to be with….and people like to be my friend…and…trust…and no blisters on my feet…and…” A damn bumbling mess. All Wendy had to do was to strut in front of her tribe in her glamorous western jacket and all votes against her would’ve been null and void. The tribe can’t speak against glamour. The gods won’t have it!

And Wendy’s accent! To me, it sounded like a cross between Grey Gardens and an old timey Hollywood diner waitress. But she’s from Montana! Think of all the farmer fresh foolery Wendy Jo would’ve brought us. Too soon. Too soon!