Hot Slut Of The Day!

September 15, 2010 / Posted by:

Breyers Viennetta, the most luxurious and decadent frozen dessert found in your grocers freezer.

Watching Dynasty and Central Park West gave me a craving for the finer things in life, so obviously the beyond classy commercial for Breyers Viennetta appealed to all my senses and I begged my mother to buy me that shit whenever we went to the supermarket. It was like the Fancy Feast of frozen desserts. I mean, it had a European-sounding name and everything! Alexis Carrington definitely served it all her fancier dinner parties.

My dream was to eat it from the one glass champagne goblet we owned, which my mom stole from her office holiday party. And you had to eat it out of a crystal goblet or all the premium ice cream would turn into soup and the rich chocolatey layers would crumble. Viennetta only touches fine crystal.

My dream never came true, because my mom told me Viennetta was too expensive and only rich people bought that mess. She was right. It was kind of expensive for being a step below a Baskin-Robbins ice cream cake.

Oh well. If for some reason a baby falls from the sky and into my arms, I’m going to name him/her Viennetta.

(For Sarah)

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