Who Is Trying To Ruin JLo?

Besides her eyebrow plucker, of course. TMZ’s sources say that the rumor about JLo’s ridiculous diva bitch ways costing her the American Idol job is as thin as her used Spanx. These inside sources claim that negotiations with JLo have gone smoothly and she will be sitting in two judge’s chairs when the show continues taping next week.

Apparently, executives at Fox slipped on their La Toya Jackson-made monocles and declared that they believe some sneaky bitch out there is trying to DESTROY JLO and American Idol by planting fake stories. Hmmm…I wonder who on earth could do such a despicable thing to JLo?

No, the Fox executives aren’t throwing side-eyes at Mimi and her dancing rainbow unicorns. They think that American Idol’s direct competition is behind the sabotage.

TMZ could post a picture of JLo donating her American Idol paycheck to orphans and I still would not resign as a member of the JLo IS A Diva Bitch Club. They could post a video of JLo giving a tour of her American Idol dressing room which she turned into a rescue kitten mission, and I still wouldn’t budge. JLo will forever be that bitch in front of you at Starbucks who orders a Frapp with all the fixings and tells the barista that she needs to watch them make it (I’ve witnessed this fuckery before). Just like we’ll always be drunk sluts with no morals, JLo will always be a diva bitch! It’s just so.

UPDATE: TMZ reports that JLo has signed a one-year deal with American Idol worth $12 million.