Penelope Cruz jumped to the top of the womb watch list when pictures of her looking like a fetus is blowing air bubbles in her belly were posted on line yesterday. The pictures were taken on the set of Pirates of the Caribbean, so some thought that maybe the extra bump was part of her costume. Personally, I figured that Penny’s ovaries were just hyperventilating from being that close to Johnny Depp’s shivering timber. But Penny’s spokeswhore has confirmed that she’s 4 1/2 months pregnant! And the daddy is Javier Bardem!
Penny’s rep kept the statement simple, and thankfully didn’t give us the Spanish translation of “Over The Moon“. It’s always too early for that shit. Penny and Javier got married in the Bahamas in July, so you can fire a belated bullet from your shot gun if that’s what you need to do.
Congrats to Penny and the Javier! Hopefully, the world’s best newborn plastic surgeons will be on hand at the birth of their baby. With two ugly ass parents like Penny and Javier, that baby is in for a world full of fug (el sarcasmo). Please, that baby is going to have a L’Oreal contract in its hand as soon as it pops out of Penny’s vag.