“Oprah Down Under” is also the name of Gayle’s favorite pastime. Too easy, I know. So, Oprah caused 300 simultaneous coronaries when she told her audience that she was taking them on an all-expenses paid trip to Australia this December. To say they were excited is an understatement under an understatement (see above). Some of them will have to stand on the plane ride over to Australia, because their asses blew up when Oprah gave them the big news. Less ass for you, Travolta.
Speaking of that freshly butt fucked feeling, Reuters reports that the Australian government is spending US$2.8 million to bring Oprah and her band of hysterical hyenas over. Tourism Minister Martin Ferguson said in a statement that it’s money well spent, because Oprah’s show is watched by 40 million Americans and airs in 145 countries. Martin said this, “Oprah is a household name and her star power has the potential to lift Australia’s profile as a premier tourist destination. We spent hundreds of millions of dollars over 30 years without much effect, I must say that honestly. The publicity that Oprah will bring to Australia around the world is something you couldn’t buy.”
This is true. Many Americans didn’t know Australia is a real-life place that exists in reality until GODPRAH talked about it during her daily sermon (insert a roll of the eye here).
Millions of Oprah’s disciples are booking their trips to Australia right now. Yay for Australia! Not only are you paying $2.8 million to bring over 300 crazed screechers, but thanks to The Mighty O even more crazed screechers will soon terrorize your land. The Australian government should at least legalize every kind of mind-altering substance to help the locals deal with Oprah’s batshit crazy banshees.
(Image via Faces of the Last Season of Oprah)