Cher Shows Bitches How It’s Done

September 13, 2010 / Posted by:

The dildo in the back of your office desk drawer (I know how you do) is more organic than Cher’s face and she needs the help of a puppeteer to move her mouth, but at 64 she still makes young whores run back to their high chairs to sit the hell down!

At last night’s VMAs, Cher proved that you don’t need to wear dresses made of tires, rain tarps and the back stock of a carniceria to get all spotlights on you. And you really don’t need 20 men to help your ridiculous ass get onto the stage. All you need is some mesh, a lot of chunky sequins and a Troy Polamalu wig made of silk yarn.

Cher tucked all her parts into her old “Turn Back Time” ensemble to present Video of the Year last night. Of course it went to Lady Caca, because that bitch won everything. And every time she gave one of her “love yourself” speeches, I felt like I was sitting in the back row at one of Tony Robbins’ self-help conferences.

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