Lindsay Lohan’s Big TV Comeback!

Yeah, I know I should be drunkblogging the MTV VDs right now, but I’m on every brand of allergy medication and the last time I mixed antihistamines with the sweet nectar it ended in horrific results. I passed out on a friend of a friend’s couch and woke up a few hours later with one of my shoes off. JUST ONE SHOE OFF! I probably wouldn’t have flinched if I woke up with bleeding nipples and a rubber oven mitt up my asshole (it happens), but the one shoe thing was disturbing. It’s like he tried to be nice by taking off my shoes, but quit that bitch as soon as my foot stank made his nostrils weep. Or maybe he just needed to hump the one foot. I don’t know, but it left me with a million questions and no answers. But I’m digressing in a serious way…

In the opening skit with Chelsea Handler tonight, Lindsay Lohan once again tried to get in on the joke by making fun of her drunken acts of crackery. Since LiLo is apparently the epitome of sober right now, she should never ever watch this clip. About 3 seconds into it, I had to press pause and snort another line of Claritin to get through it.

And you know White Oprah was off camera screaming at the producers that the Lohans don’t take checks. They only get paid in cash or blank prescription pads.