Three years ago, Aretha Franklin said that if Hollywood ever made a feature film version of her life she would want Halle Berry to play her. This comment launched a tidal wave of HAHAHAHAHAs at Aretha, which she immediately destroyed with just one quick swipe from her areola.
Well, it’s three years later and Queen Aretha still wants a Berry to play her. Since Fred Berry is sadly no longer with us, Queen Aretha is going to settle for Halle Berry. HuffPo says that Aretha wrote a press release with her nipple ink about who she thinks should be in her biopic. Here’s Aretha’s choices:
Aretha Franklin: Halle Berry
C.L. Franklin, her father: Denzel Washington
Smokey Robinson: Terrence Howard
Aretha will read the script next week, and said that Halle, Denzel and Terrence have verbally agreed to do the movie.
Do you really think that Aretha wants Halle to play her before the two most majestic mountains in heaven fell from the sky onto her chest making her the forever Queen of Chichis?
Of course not! And even if Aretha wants Halle to play her today, it could work. Halle just has to gain a little weight and work with a yoga instructor 12-hours a day so she can become flexible enough to roll into a ball to play ONE of Aretha’s chichis. I smell another Oscar…or maybe Aretha’s nipple is just leaking mushroom gravy again.