Willow Smith Got A Record Deal

September 9, 2010 / Posted by:

At the ripe age of 9, Willow Smith can pat herself on the back for knowing how to wear the hell out of a pair of Converse leggings. And now she can also pat the last name on her birth certificate for helping her land a record deal with Jay-Z! And by land a record deal, I mean Will Smith put in a call.

Jay-Z released a statement saying that his Roc Nation Entertainment has signed the pop singer behind the hair whippin’ song that has forced thousands of bitches to reach for a neck brace. And you know Willow Smith is going to put out a line of neck braces made out of giant bedazzled neon snap bracelets with shoelace fringe around it. Here’s the statement from Jay-Z:

“It’s rare to find an artist with such innate talent and creativity at such a young age. Willow is about to embark on an incredible journey and we look forward to joining her as she grows in all aspects of her career.”

Willow Smith is only 9 years old and people are already talking about how she’s going to knock Justin Bieber off the potty training throne and become the next pop superstar toddler sensation. At this point, Fisher Price is probably working on an auto-tune microphone for babies so that parents can turn their kids’ first words into a dance song.

But I know what’s really going on here. This is simply Jada Pinkett’s way of trying to make the world forget about the Smith’s family last assault on the music industry. Two horrifying words: WICKED WISDOM! I see you, Jada. No amount of hair whipping is going to knock off the open sore on my brain left by Wicked Wisdom!

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