These Two Are Doing It

Over at People, they have a grainy picture of Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez sucking the escargot chunks out of each other’s mouths on the streets of Paris over the weekend. Usually, women find themselves in the arms of Olivier after he seduced them off their bar seat and into an empty nearby bathroom stall. Then he sucks on your tongue and grabs at your titties before cumming into his palm, wiping it on the wall and then leaving you quivering at the loins wondering what just happened. Yes, I’ve watched Unfaithful way too many times on cable. Anyways, this is not how it happened with Halle. Halle and Olivier shot Dark Tide together in South Africa last month. And here they are now…

An onlooker (aka the pap who followed them all day) says that Halle and Olivier were all over each other the entire day, “They had their arms around each other as they walked. They were both smiling and laughing. Their body language was very flirtatious. They definitely seemed like a couple – absolutely looked like more than friends. It was the classic ‘I’m going to kiss you here in a dark corner’ move. And she was waiting to be kissed.”

LE BARF at that cheesy ass description! To be fair to Olivier, I’m sure he acts like that with 99% of his friends and possibly some of his distant relatives. And maybe a few cats he feels close to. It’s his way! You can tell. Dude is always saying “I will mouth smother you in a dark corner” with his eyes. But my guess is that this isn’t that serious. Halle is simply getting herself a piece of Olivier’s buttery crotch baguette.

Besides, there’s rumors that Halle is also humping on her ex Gabriel Aubry. If that’s true, I say get it. I also say that Gabriel now knows why Halle’s mouth always smells like a strange musky cheese….