RiRi, who has a 9-inch long forehead, and Willow Smith, who is 9 years old, both have new songs and let’s throw them into the ring to battle it out against each other, shall we? First up is the grown ass Willow Smith who released the first single off her next album called “Only Girl (In The World” (above).
This confirms that RiRi is an alien cyborg from a planet far far away, because she just released a full album two hot seconds ago and she’s already got a new song on a new album out. Damn. Even auto-tune needs a break! Anyways, I would be all over this song if I was messed up on K in the middle of a gay club circa 2001 with my rave whistle firmly in my mouth. Seriously, this song was made for the annoying dude with the rave whistle who killed everyone’s buzz by blowing with the beat. Because this song provokes rave whistle foolery, I cannot condone it. Now on to the mini Riri…
Willow Smith, the daughter of musical genius (sprayed with a generous amount of sarcasm) Will Smith, is sashaying onto the music game with her new single “Whip My Hair” (below). When I was 9-years-old, I could maybe come up with a 15-second-long song about saliva bubbles, so Willow has me beat (Ed note: I still could only come up with a 15-second-long song about saliva bubbles and that’s it). This is definitely a song Tommy Girl is going to twerk it to, so I will declare Willow as the winner of this battle.
But seriously, both of those songs make me want to cleanse my ears out with some real music… You know, like Stacey Q or Stevie B!