Giving a whole new meaning “to getting pissed,” biomedical researcher James Gilpin has created a new kind of whiskey made from the urine of elderly diabetics. Cut to R. Kelly at his neighborhood bar asking the bartender for a glass of that pepaw pee pee on the rocks.
James, who is a diabetic himself, says that “large amounts of sugar are excreted on a daily basis by type-two diabetic patients especially amongst the upper end of our aging population.” James gets the piss from elderly volunteers including his own grandmama. James then purifies it the same way water is purified. Once the piss is fermented, he adds whiskey blends to give it color and flavor. James doesn’t sell his homemade bladder brew yet, but he hands it out for free at a design show in London.
James is currently working on an asparagus version for the harder drunks out there. And don’t show this to The Hoff or he will start trolling the bathrooms of diabetes centers. This is the kind of golden showers he can get into.