No More Prostitution Whore-ah In The Real Housewives Of New Jersey

September 7, 2010 / Posted by:

Andy Cohen announced last night that Bravo has officially put out Danielle Beverly Angela Merrill Staub’s love and light” and she will not bring her straitjacket-worthy fuckery to season 3 of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. So Caroline Manzo is going to have to find another bitch to use her bootleg Mafia Wars impersonation on.

There were rumors that all 3 of the housewives of NJ refused to sign on to another season if Danielle was in the cast. but prostitution whore-ah herself tells USWeekly that she wasn’t fired from the show. Danielle said, “I’m way too good for this. They have used me about as much as I can be used. I think it’s time for me to move on and upward. I don’t see any interest for me to be attacked like that. I mean, what’s left for [the other castmates]? To kill me? Bravo seems to be glorifying their behavior. And I think it’s almost like telling children to behave poorly at school, ‘It’s OK.

The only person who is trying to kill Danielle is Santa Claus for stealing Christmas that one time, but that’s it! Danielle must be sipping from the exact same toilet at the exact same T.G.I. Friday’s as White Oprah, because delusion is running through her veins.

Danielle went on to say that she is moving on to bigger things, “The bottom line is, they need me, I don’t need them. They don’t talk about anything but me. I don’t talk about them, at all. I talk about me too! I want to be me now. Not me according to other people. Me…a spin-off is absolutely, positively where I’m going.”

But Danielle’s spin-off isn’t going to be on Bravo, “I did not give [this] to Bravo because I felt like there was no fair portrayal of me and my family… to share with people who didn’t even want to portray me as a human being. So that will be shared. I will do a breaking story on that when it does come out and it will be a part of my spin-off.”

The only job that Danielle is going to land after this is a starring spot in The Real Crazy Whores Of Trenton Psychiatric Hospital, which will air exclusively at mental health conventions in the Tri-state area. Or she’ll get into lizard porn.

Meanwhile, Page Six reports that Teresa Giudice won’t be a part of season 3 either. Apparently, Teresa isn’t happy that Bravo didn’t pimp out her cookbook on the show even though they took 10% of the book’s sales. Bravo is showing Teresa that she ain’t shit by threatening to replace her with her sister-in-law and arch rival Melissa Gorga.

Teresa is thisclose to moving her family into a room next to Danny’s at a Super 8 off the highway, so I doubt she’s going to turn down Bravo. Unless, The Natural History Museum is offering her more money to star in their Mesozoic era exhibit…

And here’s my favorite moment from last night’s reunion. I love the look on Jacqueline’s face when Danielle’s whispers crawl into her head and start nibbling on her soul.

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