The Oldest Trick In The Fame Whore Book

September 2, 2010 / Posted by:

Fire up the “L. Ron Hubbard wedding minister” hologram, tell Suri Cruise to pull out her barley girl dress, and decorate the space car with cans, because there’s going to be a great big Scientology wedding (but probably not). Bruised Peaches Geldof and her boyfriend Eli Roth recently celebrated the impossible: SIX LONG MONTHS TOGETHER. It’s like celebrating an extra chunky skidmark on your favorite chonies that just can’t be scrubbed out. YAY! And here we thought that this beautiful union would end as soon as the drugs evaporated from Eli’s system. That trip keeps trippin’.

Peaches and Eli continued the celebrations last night by having dinner at The Ivy in London. Not only did Peaches wear a coat made from Eli’s freshly plucked butt hairs, but she also wore some kind of ring on THAT FINGER. A 14k publicity whore ring whose sparkles just scream “WRITE ABOUT ME!!!!” And here I am doing it.

Now I’m not saying that Eli didn’t propose to Peaches (all-you-can pump ass sex is a major selling point for marriage), but I am saying that the ring is most likely her promise to fame to keep fucking it until death (or the loss of all her Twitter followers) do them part!

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