The question of the day is: “Why is Stephanie Tanner holding the discarded shell of Suri Cruise’s baby body?” Let that marinate. And while you do that, I’ll stick a pink cigar in Mr. Bear’s no-no, because his best friend in the world Stephanie Tanner has popped out her second BABY!!!!! And don’t you go screaming METH BABY or FAS FACE BABY, because her new daughter is completely healthy. Well, she’ll stay healthy until she hears her name…
Jodie’s boyfriend MORTY COYLE (That name…I still can’t) delivered the news to People: “Jodie was amazing and is doing great. We are now the proud, excited parents of Miss Beatrix Carlin Sweetin Coyle. Beatrix made her debut at 7 lbs., 4 oz. and 19 inches long.”
Jodie also has a 2-year-old daughter named Zoie with her ex-husband CODY HERPIN. Jodie really does love fucking on dudes with names that sound like something the doctor at the free clinic would write on your medical chart next to “diagnosed with.”
I was joking before about the name Beatrix. It has Bea (as in Arthur) and TRIX in it, so it’s completely perfect. Kimmy Gibbler Carlin Sweetin Coyle would’ve been better, but maybe Jodie’s saving that name for the next one.