My stupid ass is always making dumb jokes (you can stop here to keep things factual) about how Christina Hendrick’s wondrous titty globes look like two bald toddlers headbutting each other, and this picture of her standing next to Kiernan Shipka is fueling my foolery!
While looking at this picture, I’m thinking to myself that if my chest was graced with two magnificent chichis like Christina’s, I’d spend all day dressing them up with half wigs, make-up, fake lashes and stick on jewels. Then I’d sit in front of the mirror and squeeze their painted on mouths to The Judds’ (more like The Juggs) “Mama He’s Crazy.” You know, it would be like chin puppets but with boobies instead. Puppetits! Yes, I’m easily entertained. You know this. And yes, this is the sole reason as to why my chest is flat as the seat on Kirstie Alley’s favorite eatin’ chair.
Christina’s look was very “Miss Kitty smuggling prohibition hooch“, but who cares because get ten eye fulls of her chichiiiiiiiiiis. Chichis that make you wanna stand up in church!
And Christina’s husband must have had a pristine karma record in his past life.