Other companies better take note and get Derek J on the line immediately, because this is how you push a product off the shelves. You don’t do it by plastering billboards all over the place. You do it by plastering your logo all over the head of a bodacious beauty using a bottle of aerosol shellac, a Bedazzler gun, a jar full of Beyonce’s lacefront sweat and a handful of Smurf pubes.
I guarantee you Nabisco’s stocks will rise just like my soul is while staring at this mess. The fact that this was taken in line at a fucking Sam’s Club confirms that this is the most beautiful sight I’ll see today. Well, until I open up the box of Oreo’s I’m going to buy at the deli later on. See, her pimpin’ skills work!
The frosting on her lashes also shows that she’s a woman who cares about details. And if you promise to lick the frosting before biting into her cookie, she’ll dip it low into your leche.