Welcome to TLC, Your Lives Are Now Ruined

August 25, 2010 / Posted by:

Since TLC has already picked off every piece of meat on the carcass of Jon & Kate’s marriage, they are sharpening their teefs and going after new flesh! TLC has cursed Victor and Digna Carpio of Queens, NY by giving them their own reality show. Sextuplets Take New York will follow Victor and Digna as they raise their 22-month-old child army and their 9-year-old son. Basically, the poor Gosselin kids are getting pushed down the stairs by six younger and hungrier BABYZILLAS! Here’s the press release from TLC:

The Carpio sextuplets, America’s first Latino sextuplets, are ready for their close-up, if they can sit still for that long! Now 22 months old, these four boys and two girls have just mastered the art of walking and will soon be talking – in two languages. On Tuesday, September 14 at 10 pm ET/PT, TLC premieres the new eight-part series SEXTUPLETS TAKE NEW YORK. Each episode follows the daily challenges parents Victor and Digna Carpio face while raising active sextuplets and an energetic 9-year-old son in their modest house in Queens, NY.

From 50 diaper changes to three homemade hot meals a day, to balancing doctor’s appointments, tennis practice, tutoring, and homework, Victor and Digna certainly have their hands full. Born weighing less than two pounds each and given little to no chance for survival, the Carpio sextuplets are six little miracles.

TLC needs less BABIES!!! and more dresses and little people. Where’s “Say Si to the Quinceañera Dress” or “Little Pimps, Big Whores”?

The minute Victor comes on the screen in an Ed Hardy t-shirt, TLC just needs to do the right thing by pulling their own plug before it’s too late. Or we can just lie to TLC and tell them we’ve found a couple of little people hoarders who own a child beauty queen dress shop and are parents to six tattooed babies. That will definitely make TLC spontaneously combust.

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