All back alley pharmacists are lining the streets of Hollywood and the coke dealers can quit the part-time jobs they were forced to take at 7-Elven when Lindsay Lohan went into rehab, because she’s baaaaaack! And she is fully recharged! Radar reports that LiLo was released from the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Hospital tonight after serving just 22 days out of her 90 day sentence.
LiLo’s doctors suggested to the judge that she be released from rehab early, because they don’t think her issues are that serious (aka they are sick of dealing with her ass). Judge Elden Fox agreed and he opened LiLo’s cage door. Justice fucking served on the rocks with a sprinkling of crushed Dilaudid on top!
Cut to White Oprah dancing all night, because now that her main ho is out on the stroll she no longer has to pay for her pills with freezer burned Fudgie the Whales:
LiLo will get outpatient treatment indefinitely and a hearing is schedule for tomorrow.
Speaking of getting fucked up like a Lohan out of rehab, we should all pour anything mind-altering into our kombucha tea to deal with all the interviews that will follow. Every single Lohan is going to spill their delusions to any bitch who waves a cashiers check in their face. Seriously, I heard that Nana Lohan has already given a tell-all interview to the LI PennySaver.