On last night’s Big Brother US, Britney showed off her Head of Household room and all her gifts from home including this whacked out portrait of her as a 14-year-old beauty queen. Thousands of question marks are gathering together in my empty head to spell out two words: BROW FUCKERY.
Seriously, who is responsible for this tragic brow massacre? A cracked out chicken who suffers from vertigo? That scratch on the right isn’t a brow, it’s a serial killer’s signature. This is fitting since the mass murder of hundreds of beautiful eye follicles has been committed here. Browocide!
And who is responsible for putting a bejeweled crown on the head of a poor girl whose upper eye area looks like a broken Etch A Sketch? You should not reward this kind of behavior! Well, unless Britney was competing in Miss Emaciated Eyebrows. If that’s the case, she deserves the title.
Thankfully, Britney has worked on her eyebrow situation over the years and it currently looks like this:
She could still use the helping hand of a charitable cholita, but at least she no longer looks like she’s got the two fractured legs of a praying mantis pasted over her eyes.