Since Betty White’s plate was much too full to attend the Creative Arts Emmys last night, somebody had to bring the glamour in heavy doses and So You Think You Can Dance’s Mia Michaels did just that. It’s as if Mimi from Drew Carey time traveled back to the Victorian era and got a job as a professional mourner. Anybody who looks like the 80s pulled up its ruffled skirt and scooted all over their eyes IS DOING IT RIGHT.
Bitch is screaming “Glamour and Glitter, Fashion and Fame!” with her eyes. Actually, she’s softly whispering it since she’s squinting like Renee Zellweger giving head to a Sour Patch Kid.
And if Mia’s whole look is way too “new wave graveyard witch” for you, then get yourself a knapsack and venture into
Val Kilmer’s Beau Bridges’ thick follicle forest:
Those eye shrubs almost look like two fat otters playing chicken. If Beau is ever feeling charitable, he could donate half a brow to a porn star in need of a landing strip.
Here’s more pictures of bitches stomping all over the red carpet yesterday. In order: Mia Michaels, the ginger chichi queen Christina Hendricks, Alan Cumonthatsuitandthrowitaway, Kristen Chenoweth with Kathy Griffin, Jon Hamm, Derek Hough, Jane Lynch, Wanda Sykes with her wife Alex, Lily Tomlin and Robin Williams with his full-time back hair brusher Susan Schneider.