Michael Lohan Is Free To Beat Again!

Michael Lohan was arrested last month after his then girlfriend Kate Major told police that he tossed her out of a chair, kick ball changed her in the face and threatened to murder her. It’s what most of us call TheWayMichaelLohanDealsWithShitShuffle. At the time, Kate took out a restraining order against LiLo’s ex-father, because she was afraid he would follow up on his threats.

Michael and Kate were face-to-face again in court this morning for his arraignment. Instead of begging the judge to send Michael Lohan to death row forever (not an unreasonable request), Kate asked the court to drop all the charges and cancel the restraining order she has against him. Radar reports that the judge honored Kate’s request and killed both the charges and the restraining order. But the judge told Kate that the charges against Michael Lohan could be re-filed if he gets busted again within six months.

Kate sort of explained to Radar outside of the court house why she wanted all the charges to go away, “I have personal reasons as to why I dropped the charges. I’m fine with the outcome and just want to move on with my life. I don’t want anymore negativity in my life, but I wish Michael all the best in the future.”

We know that Michael didn’t pay Kate off since his checking account is as empty as the room in White Oprah’s head marked “Voice of Reason.” Whatever Kate’s personal reason is, it’s still not good enough.

Michael looks like that puss-filled crusted over zit on your face that just won’t go away. You pop it with a hot needle and it still fills back up to torture you some more. You beat it with the fattest dildo in your panty drawer and it still lives. You even spread some Velveeta over it so a hongray rat can chew it off, but he quickly gets tired and crawls back home.

So Kate possibly had the power to erase the world of that giant zit for a while and she didn’t take it?! That’s illegal in itself!