Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 14, 2010 / Posted by:

Delilah Rene Lune, best known as simply “Delilahthe radio queen of sappy ass love songs

While sitting in front of a field of annoying brake lights on the Garden State Parkway last night, my “kill a bitch” rage was temporarily soothed by Delilah who has a voice as soft a cashmere teddy bear’s taint. Don’t let Delilah’s “Ah eat the souls of your chirrun” smile fool you, she really does have a soothing voice you just want to take a bath in.

For those of you have never been stroked by Delilah’s sweet tone, she has this nationally syndicated radio show where people from around the country call in to dedicate a love song to their loved ones. The lonely sadling (aka Jennifer Aniston using a voice box) calls in and tells some story about how they are sitting on their sofa alone missing their special someone. They ask Delilah to play a song that will fill in the cracks of their broken heart. Or some shit like that. Then Delilah gives a spoon full of advice she probably read in Reader’s Digest before playing a song that makes your mom weep. That’s usually how it works.

I think that Delilah should be the voice of everyone from now on. If Mel Gibson politely asked Delilah to be his voice, the messages he left for OctoSana would’ve painted a very different picture.

Smile and blow me” would have taken on a whole knew meaning. Instead of picturing Mel Gibson pulling his wrinkled peen out of his pant hole, we would’ve pictured a dandelion flirting with the wind. Delilah has that gift! Here’s just a taste of her work (made of 100% sucrose):

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