Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 12, 2010 / Posted by:

Boomer the Dog (Government Name: Gary Guy Mathews)

Quentin Tarantino Gary Guy Matthews is a 44-year-old unemployed computer technician who went to court in the furry capital of the world Pittsburgh to legally change his name to his alter ego Boomer the Dog. Gary got the name from a 1980s NBC TV show about a dog who does good shit. The show only lasted a quick second, but it will stay in Gary’s heart forever. It was his nickname in high school and he hosted a radio show in his basement about Boomer the Dog. When Gary got a older, he made a Boomer suit out of shredded paper and wore that mess to furry conventions and parties.

Gary filed a request for the name change back in June and has been waiting for the judge’s decision. After the judge got all the laughs out of his system, he officially shoved Gary’s name changing dreams into the paper shredder by denying the request. The judge said that his name change could cause “confusion in the marketplace.” That’s just legal judge talk for “Because that’s a stupid fucking name for a grown lesbian man.” It probably didn’t help when Gary humped the bailiff during the hearing or pissed on the judge’s shoe.

Boomer is now getting paper cuts on his tongue by licking his wounds in his backyard dog house made from cardboard boxes found behind a Staples. Here’s Boomer in all his recycled glory.

Instead of wasting his money on trying to change his name, Boomer should’ve used that dough to buy a costume that doesn’t look like a creature from the paper shredder box. You just want to grab Boomer and use his ass to pack your fragile shit when moving. Can he really be called a furry when hugging him will leave you reaching for a box of mini Band-Aids?!

(For Ken & Jill)

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