Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

We hate to disappoint so many teenage girls out there, but we have good news if you’re a young boy and have the hots for this teen heart throb. Although he has made public appearances with a girlfriend, he is biding his time to when he can openly come out with the man he’s been in love with for some time. His PR team is making him keep up the straight act as a strategy to help him win roles until he grows up a little and snags a more meaty role. Once he breaks the mold of a teenage sex symbol and is respected as more serious talent, then his team suggest a tell-all interview, maybe a sit down on daytime TV and finally freedom to be who he is. (BuzzFoto)

Taylor Lautner doesn’t have a beard he holds hands with on the red carpet, so I’ll throw his name off the pile. RPattz is already a respected and serious talent (sprinkle a handful of sarcasm on top of that). I might be sitting alone on this one, but I don’t think DanRad loves to tap his crotch wand on man ass. Therefore by process of elimination I’m going with Zac Efron?

This talented girl is not happy with her beau’s activities during her recent theater gig. During the show, he and a couple of pals engaged in some immature antics in the audience by loudly laughing at her lines during the wrong moments, as well as openly mimicking her gestures during her big musical number. While she did give him a verbal smackdown after the show, she will likely continue to put up with his beastly behavior as long as their fake relationship benefits her career. (Blind Gossip)

Aaaand this is a perfect follow-up to the blind item above. Vanessa Hudgens was in some movie called Beastly and she recently played Mimi in Rent, so obviously this is her ass and purdy Zac Efron? I bet Vanessa also smeared his lip glass, because you know he freaks out when tricks do that.

This former A+ list movie star and now a B+ and fading, recently borrowed several million dollars from this A list baseball player because he is having big big financial problems. (CDAN)

The best I’ve got is Nicolas Cage and A-Rod? A-Rod loves a sessy blonde with strong hands, so he probably just asked Nicolas to massage his titties in exchange for the cash.

This A/B list actress moved her family out of LA and into a town not so populated with paparazzi. We assumed it was to let her kids have a more normal life and get out of the Hollywood scene. Now we’ve realized, it was only to throw her husband off the scent of her affair with her agent. Sources report that whenever she flies in to town for work, she and her agent get down to more than just business. (BuzzFoto)

I don’t think Fishsticks Paltrow has ever lived in L.A., but I’m going to guess her. Because I’m hoping that a future issue of GOOP will be all about how to creep out on your spouse the zen way.