Bill O’Reilly Is The New Dan Quayle

August 11, 2010 / Posted by:

And that makes Jennifer Aniston the new Murphy Brown. While promoting that movie about a 40-something chick who begins a love affair with a turkey baster, Jennifer Aniston said that women today don’t necessarily need a man around in order to raise a baby. Here’s what she said:

“Women are realizing it more and more knowing that they don’t have to settle with a man just to have that child. Times have changed and that is also what is amazing… that we do have so many options these days, as opposed to our parents’ days when you can’t have children because you have waited too long.

The point of the movie is what is it that defines family? It isn’t necessarily the traditional mother, father, two children and a dog named Spot. Love is love and family is what is around you and who is in your immediate sphere. That is what I love about this movie. It is saying it is not the traditional sort of stereotype of what we have been taught as a society of what family is.”

Several family organizations told Jennifer Aniston that she needs to go back to reenacting Princess Di’s wedding with her cats and shut her lips about shit she doesn’t know about. Bill O’Reilly joined the “STFU Aniston Campaign” last night on his show when he said that her comments will be the death of society! Or something like that. Bill blew this shit out:

“I want to be fair about this because there are millions of single mothers who do a great job with raising their kids. It’s possible, but it’s not optional. And that’s where Miss Aniston makes her mistake. She’s throwing a message out to 12-year-olds and 13-year-olds that, ‘Hey you don’t need a guy. You don’t need a dad,.’ That is destructive to our society.

Aniston can hire a battery of people to help her, but she cannot hire a dad. Okay. Dads bring a psychology to children that in this society is underemphasized. Men get hosed all the time.”

Men get hosed all the time?! Are you trying to tell us something, Billy?!

This is the thing. I was only raised by my mom and I’m not a complete fuck-up. Yes, my nightly ritual involves crying at the bottom of a hot shower and medicating myself with the good shit, but other than that I’m fine! And yes, I sometimes use paper towels to wipe when I’m out of toilet paper, but that doesn’t mean I should be banished from society (or does it????). If my dad was around when I was a kid, I’d definitely be every shade of fucked up.

And can Bill please show us a 12-year-old who uses an Aniston quote as their Facebook status.

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