Rod Stewart’s Sperm Just Won’t Quit!

Kimbo and Sean Stewart will soon have a new sibling to train on how to carry on the family name by being a drunk useless mess whose one skill is how to neatly snort a line of the bad shit off of a toilet seat while holding the stall door (Actually, that really is a good skill to have). Because Rod Stewart has done it again! Rod Stewart announced that his jizz fishes still know how to charm an ovary after all these years. Yes, his jizz fishes have to stop for directions and re-charge their Segways along the way, but they still get the job done!

65-year-old Rod and his 39-year-old wife Penny Lancaster released this statement to People:

“We were thrilled and delighted to be able to tell Alastair that he was going to be the big brother to a little baby, expected just before Mummy’s 40th birthday.”

This kid will be Rod’s 7th and Penny’s 2nd. Yes, Rod Stewart will probably interrupt his new kid’s high school graduation by loudly opening up plastic candies in the audience, but who cares! Any man who has ever looked like this can has as many chirruns as he wants for as long as he wants!

Penny will just have to buy an extra tube of diaper cream at the store. That’s all!