Dressed up like she should be sucking on a ciggie and holding a martini while calling Saffy “a bitch troll from hell,” Naomi Campbell testified at The Hague (hag in The Hague…hahahaha) today in the war crimes trial of former Liberian President Charles Taylor (zero relation to Converse). Naomi made it perfectly crystal cunt clear that she would rather be moisturizing her nipples with her maid’s fearful tears on her billionaire boyfriend’s yacht than testifying in the frivolous trial of a man who orchestrated the murder and rape of HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS!
Naomi’s tortured servants might forget their place if she’s not there to keep them in line by beating the letters TYVM into their forehead when they fuck up. How can the court not know this?! They should be on trial for ruining Naomi Campbell’s precious life! I’m sure they will punish themselves accordingly once they deal with less important things like Charles Taylor’s trial.
SO while throwing imaginary Blackberries with her eyes at everyone in the room, Naomi answered questions about the night Charles Taylor gave her a blood diamond. Naomi and Charles first met at a dinner for Nelson Mandela in 1997. Naomi testified that after the dinner two men came to her door and gave her the “dirty looking stones.” Naomi tried to play like she had no idea where they came from, but said that after speaking to Mia Farrow she figured out that her gift giver was most likely from Charles Taylor.
Here’s a few quotes from Naomi’s testimony. I’ve saved the best for last. Satan is getting the last quote tattooed to his horn as I type this:
Naomi on the moment she was handed the diamonds: “When I was sleeping I had a knock on my door. I opened my door and two men were there and gave me a pouch and said, ‘A gift for you’. They were very small, dirty looking stones.”
Naomi on finding out that Charles Taylor gave her the diamonds: “At breakfast I told Miss Farrow [actress Mia Farrow] and Miss White [Carole White, her ex-modelling agent] what had happened and one of the two said, well that’s obviously Charles Taylor, and I said, yes I guess it was.”
Naomi on what she did with the diamonds: “I went downstairs to breakfast and took all my luggage with me. I wanted to find my friend [Jeremy Ratcliffe, then head of the Nelson Mandela Children’s Fund], someone that I trust and who does great things in South Africa for charity, to give them [the stones] to him to do something with them. I didn’t want to keep them.”
Naomi on why she didn’t want to testify: “This is someone that I read up on the Internet that killed thousands of people supposedly and I don’t want my family in any danger in any way.”
Naomi on why she didn’t ask the two men who the diamonds were from: “I get gifts given to me all the time, at all hours of the night. Sometimes without notes. It is quite normal for me to receive gifts.”
Naomi being a SOLID GOLD CUNT OF THE HIGHEST CUNT ORDER: “I didn’t really want to be here. I just want to get this over with and get on with my life, this is a big inconvenience for me.”
For the record, Jeremy Ratcliffe denies that he has the diamonds. My guess is that a poor member of The Victims of Naomi Campbell Support Group got those diamonds permanently shoved into her ass when she disturbed Naomi by walking too hard on the floor. That’s how Naomi works, thankyouverymuch.