“eHarmony, can you heeeeeeaaar me?” Jennifer Aniston took a break from organizing her Cabbage Patch Dolls in order of personality type to Streisand-ize herself for the pages of Harper’s Bizarre! If you fill your eye sockets with lonely tears, hug your boyfriend pillow, flare your nostrils and bite on a stick of butter while humming the lyrics to “People,” she sort of looks like Barbra Streisand. But these would probably still look better with Jen’s birth nose.
I can see why Jen chose to channel Streisand! They have the exact same talents! Barbra can sing, act, direct and wear the fuck out of velvet! And Jen….well….she’s the master at hiding her nips in photo shoots! TWINS!
Here’s what Jen had to say about Barbra and other things:
Aniston on what she’s learned from Barbra: “You don’t have to stop at one thing. You can do it all if you want to.”
Aniston on being in the spotlight: “[Barbra and I] are people who have been put in the spotlight, for better or for worse, and you just keep riding, and you keep overcoming.”
Aniston on why she looks up to Barbra: “Barbra inspires me because there isn’t anything she hasn’t done that she wanted to do, especially as a female in the time when her generation was prime. She’s a true renaissance woman. . . I had a long conversation with Barbra about directing because I directed a short a couple years ago, and if I don’t do it again soon, I’m going to burst out of my skin. And we also love interior design.”
Aniston on why complete strangers stop to point and laugh at her while she’s buying bibs for her cats at Babies “R” Us: “People laugh at me. Sometimes I know why, and sometimes I don’t. But I can pretty much find humor in anything. That is a necessary part of life. I don’t want to say laughter is healing, because it sounds corny, but it’s a release.”
And somewhere there’s a wheezy old queen in Palm Springs sitting in his Streisand-themed office and writing the hate letter of all hate letters to Jennifer Aniston. Maddox will hand deliver it to Jen if the wheezy old queen needs him to.